Oh, Holy Day

Last Easter, I would never have dared dream that I would be spending the next Easter with my best friends and family as we celebrated the baptism of our precious little boy.  That seemed like such a pipe dream, yet it really happened.  It happened for our son, Matt!

What a perfect day!

It started a little early with Matt getting a little male-bonding in with the God-Pops.  Holding your god-child is simply an offer you can't refuse.

The God Parents

Matt slept through the entire service, baptism and christening, like a little angel.  He got so many compliments.  And everyone kept asking me what I gave him...  I kept thinking I brought the wrong baby!  Who's child is this?  Church seems to be a good place for him...

My two favorite Matt's and my SIL, Kim.  Meeting for the first time!  Baby Matt is still sleeping...

My other SIL, Tanya with Chris and Makayla...As you can see Tanya and Makayla who are attempting to share Matt. :)

Here are the proud grandparents with their beautiful grandchildren.  Not a bad set...and yes, Matt is still sleeping... It's apparently very tiring to get right with the Lord at age 2 months...

It has been such a long-awaited journey to get here.  My father graciously donated this new gospel cover (object he's holding) in honor of Matt's much-anticipated birth and baptism.  I was pretty awe-struck when Daddy first mentioned this.  It will be used every Sunday and holiday for hopefully a very long time.  Matt, your arrival...well, at least to us, was a pretty big deal.  

We've had so much love and support.  It melts my heart all over again to think of all the prayers, love, and kindness we've been shown over the past years to get to this moment.  We are truly blessed beyond measure with a beautiful baby boy.

The pain of infertility reaches far beyond the intended parents.  Everyone of our friends and family wanted and hoped for this day so badly for us.  And it did come, and it is better than I could have ever dreamed.

Matt is pretty smitten with this one...He did finally wake up, though!

The Matts...I look forward to Baby Matt getting to learn from the OG.  There is sooo much to learn! Just ask Kim...

You'd never guess who the focus was on...

So I cannot thank everyone in our family, extended family and friends enough for all their love and support.  We've truly been given an answered prayer.  I am so humbled at all the love and support.  Words will not let me express how truly grateful I am.

Peace, Love, and We Will, with God's Help,

Mary Katherine & Matt

...and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

2 Months/9 Weeks of Joy...and yoga...and breastfeeding...

Just the other day, I left Matt with BJ to run an errand.  As I pulled into our driveway I noticed that third window in our house that stayed shut for the better part of 5 years was open.  There are stripes painted on the wall, and that once blank, empty room is full of love, books and toys for my little boy.  It brought tears to my eyes once again.  Even when I thought I was getting used to this whole parenting thing, little things make me catch my breath and just grin like an idiot.  It's finally us!

*Sigh* We are just soooo in love with Matt. OK...back to it...

I tried a postpartum yoga class...otherwise known as 'Pay 10 dollars to breastfeed in front of people.' The class is scheduled during his morning siesta, so I thought 'perfect!' So I get in, and Matt is all cuddly and cute, and then another person shows up and Matt starts crying.  So we are supposed to start the class with a seated meditation, and I'm all busy bouncing, shushing, and walking Matt. Basically, Matt is no more cooperative during yoga than he was at my last attempt the week before I had him.  I had literally just fed him within the hour of starting this class, so I was like ok fine...I'll just breastfeed him quickly to remind him he's full.  This place is a yoga studio...it can't get much more granola... So he eats...like a pig..slurp, guzzle, slurp, snort...He really knows how to put it on. The yoga instructor was like "Wow, he's really hungry." Seriously, kid...you do eat...I promise you eat plenty!  So this went, on...and on...and on...and finally he started to act a little satiated...Meanswhile the other participants with their 5 month old boys were just having a swell time.  Baby coos, giggles, smiles and lots of yoga poses...FINALLY, I try to rejoin the posing, and Matt cranks up again...so I'm just bouncing and trying to soothe him....I finally laid on the floor to do a pose against the wall and he settled.  Another mom looked at me and said, "It seems like all he [her sweetly smiling cherub] did was cry for the first 3 months."  *SIGH*  Our instructor asked us to change poses, but looked at me and said..."You can just stay there."  OK...So basically for 10 dollars, you can breastfeed in front of strangers between your baby's tantrums and lay down with your child on your chest while you pat his back with your legs propped up against a wall...Namaste, in bed next week, thank you.

On the breastfeeding front...by day 8 or 9 of diflucan...I'm like 50% better.  I don't cry when Matt is latching 100% of the time, now, so I'm proud of myself for that.  However, Matt hates breastfeeding between the hours of 5pm and 10pm. He'll be hungry, I think, root, and scream at me when I offer to feed him. No clue...maybe an oversupply thing now? He seriously looks at me like I'm an imbecile and I'm like 'I have no clue, Matt."...and he's all like, "Who let you have children"...and I'm like 'I'm sorry"...and he's just saying "Don't be sorry, just fix it!" and I'm like "What?! Fix what!" and then I try a breast shield and he finally settles in and flips me off while he's eating...I may be projecting, somewhat. So anyway, breastshields have been unretired, unfortunately...But we're hanging in!!!

Matt is doing great.  He's nearly doubled his weight at 11 lbs. 7 oz., but is remaining in the 25th percentile for height and weight, so that's perfect. His egg head is between the 25th and 50th.  He smiles at us frequently, but you probably wouldn't know because as soon as we take him out or try to show him off he's back to Mr. Solemn face. He is very chatty in the mornings.  It's hard to get anything done because he has to tell me about everything, but I have no clue what he's talking about.  I just nod and agree...hopefully I've not agreed to anything too devious.

He survived his first round of vaccines. He was a champ.  I am so happy for him to be vaccinated as I am a big believer. We want all of the vaccines!!  I held his hand and talked to him, but BJ had to look away.  I did cry a little bit, however, but not so much for Matt.  I saw his little face...the pain, the fear, and I just thought 'how on earth could anyone purposefully hurt a child?'  It absolutely broke my heart.  So with a few snuggles (more for me) and some milk, Matt pretty quickly recuperated.  He slept most of the day, but it was well-deserved for being such a trooper.  We've got a couple months before we have to do that again.

We went home from our appointment, and I studiously read the paperwork our pediatrician gave us and was horrified.  Basically Matt is supposed to be sleeping through the night in his own room and filling out job applications during the day or something.  In small print, it did say "breastfed babies may not be sleeping through the night at this point, but should not wake up more than once."  Well, HELL's bells...First...define night...is night when he goes to bed...or when I go to bed... I mean we are down to 2, because 5:00 am is definitely still night for me! And I could feed Matt at 10:00 pm or 1:30 am and he'd still wake up during the 2:00 o'clock hour.  And then it said to stop swaddling him and begin weaning him from his pacifier....Honestly...he just started using the damn thing...But really, other than the eating, sleeping, and applying to college, he's doing great with his other milestones. This is when I decided, the kid is growing, smiling, and thriving...We are going to do it "our" way.  I don't care what your literature says, anymore...So Matt is doing great.  He's meeting to a little ahead on all his motor skills, and we are very close to a giggle...so there!

We took a little road trip to show Mr. Matt off to the Chattanooga office where our beloved embryologist Susan works.  I was so excited for her and the rest of the Chatt-town gang to see Matt in person.  A lot of love, sweat, prayers and tears went into making this kid.  As Susan, herself, said, she picked a good one. We just enjoyed all the gushing and love sent our way.  They really know how to make you feel special.  As much as I am thankful that I don't have to frequent the office regularly, I already miss seeing them.

The onesie says "My first babysitter was an embryologist." And, oh, how we love her!!!!

We have more big adventures awaiting Matt this weekend.  We're gonna chase the devil outta Matt. My father has graciously spearheaded having little James Matthew Roberts christened at our home church on Easter Sunday. That's kinda a big deal to us Whiskypalians. The Godparents are flying/driving in.  Little Matt gets to meet his namesake for the first time, as well...Big Matt! So, there might be picture overload if you follow BJ or I on Facebook.  My apologies, now.

Peace, Love, and Creating our Own Journey, 

Mary Katherine & Matt

Matt Facts:

Weight: 11 lbs 7 oz +

Height: 22.25 inches

Clothing size: 0-3 months with a couple newborn onesies still circulating.

Sleeps: 3.5 to 4 hours at one time during the night.

Fave food: Mama's milk

Fave comfort item: Wubba-nub 

Fave toy: Carl the horse

Possible occupational goal:  Attorney. He HATES traffic lights like his grandfather, and also according to his attorney grandfather enjoys watching cars wrecks on YouTube...*sigh* So I have a future ambulance chaser on my hands, apparently.

Breastfeeding...Alternate Title "Things I'm Terrible At"

OK after a rough night and breaking down (I mean literally breaking down and feeling like I should report myself to CPS because, you know, formula) and giving Matt some supplemental formula, I called and made an appointment with a lactation consultant.  And just like that, Matt was cured of his 6 week stretch of evening cluster feeds and screeching.  Seriously the next day...he was fine.  Happy, slept (some) at night, and altogether what I thought an almost at the time 8 week old baby should do. What did I do differently...NOTHING...

So yesterday, I was contemplating cancelling this appointment.  He's doing great, hasn't needed to be supplemented and I've got more milk overnight than I can handle. It still hurts when I feed, but I just figured I am terrible at it.  I have sensitive skin, and I'm a wuss. BUT it has not killed me, and Matt is growing like a weed, so it must be going like it should.

Anyway I decided to go just because I had questions on how to get ready to go back to work, pumping, overnight shifts, Matt's latch, and yadda-yadda...

So she analyzes Matt's mouth.  His frenulum is still stiff and has grown back some.  His upper lip is tied, too, so he has learned to suck super hard, but he gets tired and "pops" off.  (Pop is the word used to describe how far Matt can stretch my nipple and turn his head to the side before it comes out of his mouth while Mommy pretends to enjoy breastfeeding because that's what the books say I'm supposed to do.) She asked me if he did that often, and I was like, "What? Babies don't do that?" His 2 month appointment is Friday, so we will ask our pediatrician about the upper lip and if we need to visit an oral surgeon...boo. In the meantime we have some fun stretching exercises (NOT FUN) to do.

Back at the dairy farm, I have a yeast infection in both my breasts.  I've had it for over a month, but when you go from chapped, cracked nipples straight to yeast-infected nipples it's kinda subtle.  I just thought I was still healing and getting used to it. And then I thought I was just one of those sensitive types that feels every cell of her body do something. I didn't get too worked up that my boobs feel like they are on fire in-between breastfeeding sessions.  I just thought I'm making more milk, and if I was anybody else, I wouldn't complain to myself in my head that my boobs hurt.  It was the pain I had after pumping that made me think, 'I guess I don't need nipple shields anymore because it hurts just as bad without them'.  I just thought this is what breastfeeding feels like and for some reason my pea-brain registers it as pain.  I thought it was normal to not be able to turn and face the shower while you were breastfeeding.  And the real kicker was if Matt didn't have thrush, how could I? I genuinely thought I was being whiny, even if it was just to myself.

So now I have a new nipple ointment, Diflucan and probiotics.  Hopefully this will improve my situation.  As for Matt, we shall see what the pediatrician says later this week.  I hate to cut on him any more than he's already been cut on.  I mean I obviously don't care if it improves things for me or not at this point.  I've made it 2 months, 4 more and he should start eating a little less frequently... possibly.

Matt's actually pretty terrible at breastfeeding, too. His mouth issues notwithstanding, he has not gone into a milk coma in quite some time.  He gets milk-drunk,  and lulls around for a bit, but over all it's rare that I can feed him to sleep...even at night.  The lactation consultant said her daughter had a very similar temperament.  So I asked when she started sleeping through the night.  She told me if you count 12-7am,  2 1/2 years. Chalk that up to things you just shouldn't ask.  We've had some sleep regression.  Matt made it 5 hours, a couple of weeks ago, but now we're not even getting 4 in anymore.  My mother told me some babies sleep through the night at Matt's age.  My mother can be really unhelpful...

Why don't you quit, you ask? Well, for one, I'm super stubborn.  And lesbihonest...if I wasn't as stubborn as I am, I wouldn't have Matt.  Plus, I really thought I was lucky compared to some of my friends. At least in the sense that my nipples aren't hanging off by scabs, I'm not pumping blood-flavored milk, I haven't had a clogged duct, nor have I really gotten engorged. I'm also an absolute miser and refuse to pay 25 dollars for 5 Matt-days worth of food.  Not to mention he's growing gangbusters. He's already 11 lbs 4 oz.  So he's a pound short of doubling his weight at just under 2 months.  So despite my easy-bake oven boobs, he's doing great.  And that makes Mama proud.  That is until he ends up on my 600 lb life.  Then I won't be as proud...

So I don't LOVE breastfeeding.  I'm not sure I even like it.  I'd pump, but it takes twice the work in my opinion, because you have to pump, put the milk up, clean up all the parts, feed Matt, clean the bottles repeat.  So I breastfeed.

 Do I feel bonded to Matt? Sure...I mean we've been through the biggest deal of our lives together.  He's my little miracle.  But I can't say that I find breastfeeding totally bonding in the sense that most people don't go frolicking in holly bushes or rolling in poison ivy together on a date.  We just survive it.  I had way too easy of a pregnancy and delivery for everything else to go easy, I guess.

With all of that, I wouldn't change a thing.  Matt's my trooper, BJ's my rock, and we're just a super happy little family.  Even if I'm terrible at breastfeeding, I'm sticking to it.

Peace, Love, and High Gravity Breast Milk,

Mary Katherine Roberts

6 Weeks!

It's a pretty sweet life being Matt's Mama. 

He is starting to be a real charmer. Lots of smiles for Dada and me. In-between feeding sessions...

I can't tell you how often I feed him because around 7 or 8 pm it feels like he just breastfeeds straight for 3-4 or 5 hours. I feel like I must not be keeping up supply-wise in the evening for whatever reason. So I try pumping through the morning some and giving him a big bottle, but it doesn't help me start getting ahead. I've also tried to ride it out with him in the hopes it would increase my supply to meet his demand. I had weaned myself off of my nipple shield until I tried that *chortles*. Although I was seriously (momentarily) worried we were on our way to being that family on a TLC special bc our 6 month old weighs 75 lbs. 

On that he seems to be gaining pretty steadily. I'd say he's around 10lbs and some change. Today he officially used his last newborn-sized diaper, and I've retired all but 3 newborn-sized outfits...So clearly he's not that chunky.

He's my little enigma baby. I don't think he had or has colic but I do think he runs a bit intense in the temperament department. Matt will go from sweetly cooing to screaming with hunger in no time. I keep looking for hunger cues like smacking lips or chewing hands, but it's rare, especially in the evening, or he's doing it in his sleep, and I don't dare wake him up. Ah, the intensity, that's not his Daddy, that's for sure. 

I also have no clue if and when he wants a pacifier. I'm not even ashamed to say I'm clueless about what will soothe him when, because it's different every time. At first I of course blamed myself, but honestly it's him. I don't think Matt is still very sure on what he wants when. It's not so bad, though, because we have a 100% success rate so far on figuring something out. 

I do think I understand why infertile couples are prone to postpartum depression. I've had over 5 years to prepare, read books, learn from friends, etc. Not to mention the expectations are extremely high that since this is your miracle you will enjoy every second of it. You don't dare complain, or even reach out for help because this is what you wanted so badly. Nor would you be open to having a serious discussion about how hard the "4th trimester" is while you are relishing in your dream pregnancy. 

Matt is my miracle, but that doesn't mean I automatically know how to Mom or that Matt even knows how to do Matt. It's just part of our journey, and I'd do it a hundred times over. He's totally worth it. It may break my heart to hear him shriek, but I hope he learns that I'm doing my best in my own mom-bumbling way. I'll stay by his side no matter how many tries it takes to soothe him.

Anyway, I'm still so in love with my little Pico. He's better than I ever could have imagined. More intense and complicated as well, but definitely the best thing that's happened since I met BJ.

Peace, Love, and the most intense but precious baby on the block,

Mary Katherine

5 Weeks!

Well 5 weeks and a couple of days...

Matt is pretty darn amazing.  He's starting to get interested in BJ and I.  It's so incredible to watch.  He's seriously the most darling thing.  I'm still so enamored with him.

I'm starting to understand and accept that a crying baby does not mean I'm doing a terrible job.  He's done a lot better.  I think I spent too much time trying to coax him to sleep instead of just feeding him.  But this week, he's already starting to sleep better and entertain himself a wee bit more.  You can tell he can see stuff a little better and is watching his mobile and looking around more. He even "reaches" for his rattle...we think...well, we are going with that.

He might be getting a wee bit clingy, but I don't mind.  I've waited for too long to have a baby to be upset that he wants me back.  So while I'm not initiating the attachment parenting, Matt sure is, and that is fine by me.  We'll figure out how to get stuff done.  Thank goodness for my Ergo!

(Just ignore my "night nurse" in the background. ;) ) 

A few days into iron supplements and I'm feeing a lot better. I can walk up and down the steps without dizziness, and I don't feel bone-achingly tired anymore. Anemia was not an issue during my pregnancy so it was not on my radar afterwards...well, nothing but Matt has been, to be honest. So it was quite a relief to know I could feel a little better with some iron pills. I would have totally thought it was just the not sleeping through the night/new parent exhaustion.  

I also finished my larger project of the quarter and that's a huge relief. So now I can "sleep when baby sleeps"...in theory, anyway. I have mastered the breastfeeding while typing method of getting through grad school stuff. Remind me not to be in graduate school when and if we are able to have another one.

BJ is back at work full time now. It was a little scary for me because he's been such a huge support and help. He's a brilliant dad, that one is. I hope I'm as good of a mother as he is a father! Anyway, Matt and I have survived! It's not too bad, either. Lots of snuggle time.

Peace, Love, and Continuing to be In Awe!

Mary Katherine

1 Month

I am sitting here curled up with Matt on my couch and still so in love. This same couch...has been host to numerous recuperations, modified bed rest stints, and emotional breakdowns. But no more.

It's still such sweet relief to leave all of that pain and anguish behind. I can just stare down at this precious little boy and smile about how worth it everything was. And how I would do it again in a heartbeat.  

He's doing swell. He's grown 1.75 inches  and weighed 7lbs 14.5 oz at his three week check over a week ago. So I'm sure he's pushing 8.5 lbs now. It's funny how much his face has and hasn't changed. It seems fuller from the front, but I still see that infuriated newborn profile from early on.

(Daddy got better pictures than Mommy)

He has been an easy baby...and then he turned 4 weeks old. I don't know why I thought breastfeeding meant no colic but, I did. That was incorrect! I also had no idea that I would go from feeling pretty confident at reading his cues, to absolutely helpless. I tried keeping him fed, freshly diapered, and rocked, but NOTHING would soothe him. It's awful, and of course I immediately went to 'this is why you were infertile' place in my head. It's a new kind of awful to not be able to help your child. 

So after two sleepless nights I was to the point where all I could do was hold him and cry with him. I cashed in a lifeline and called Amy, because I couldn't even tell when Matt was pushing me away or still hungry anymore. Instead of just talking to me she came over with a bag of tricks and let me sleep for 4 hours. She was my angel. It was seriously the best gift I could have asked for at this point. I hope I can pay her back one day! 

So with the help of Simethicone (gas medicine) Matt seems much more content with himself. He may not choose to sleep when Mommy and Daddy would like him, too.  But at least he's not screaming uncontrollably.

Mommy is exhausted, but passed her 4 week post-partum check. I've lost 20lbs so far, so I'm almost where I would have liked to have been going into this pregnancy.  I still don't look quite like my pre-pregnant self when it comes to my mid-section, but hopefully now that I can exercise, things will tighten up.  I can resume "normal activities"..HAHAHA... While I'm dying (to have the energy) to get on the elliptical and try a Mommy and Me yoga class,  I'm pretty sure my lady parts are still on a prolonged vacation...that and I need some red blood cells.  I mean, I know I'm normally pale and just had a baby, but right now, I'm fluorescing like I'm ready for an audition on the latest vampire flick and not sure how to make it out of bed much before 11:30 or 12:00.

There is nothing on the interwebs about postpartum for the 1% of us who have little to no ovarian function.  There are a few blogs of POI moms who all seem to cave and go back on hormone replacement therapy in lieu of continuing to breastfeed *SIGH*. While your estrogen is supposed to be low while you breastfeed, and some women have hot flashes...all of that has come crashing back this week.  So I don't know if I'm in the normal postpartum range or if I'm already plummeting back to 'I've fallen and I can't get up' levels, or if there is even a difference.  Oh, we had that "what do you want to do for birth control" conversation...

I know it's required, and to be fair, Dr. B asked if we were just going to go off our history or if I wanted to use something. I consider myself a pretty elite infertile...I'm really good at not getting pregnant.  So good, that it takes other people's ingredients and synthesized hormones to keep me pregnant, so when someone asks the question "What are you using for birth control?" It seems to me like the equivalent of telling a hospice patient to pray harder for a cure...

I distinctly remember Dr. Donesky telling BJ, before I was even officially his patient, that we had less than a 3 percent chance of conceiving on our own.  So combine that with my less than 3% chance of conceiving...and...my brain is too exhausted to figure that formula out, but basically it's a 0% chance that BJ's 3% chance would sync up with my 3% chance of a miracle spontaneous ovulation of a healthy egg...So if it were to happen...it's truly meant to be...and I'll take that chance even if it means a short-interval pregnancy.  Not to mention there is also a less than 3% chance of us partaking in such festivities in the near future...

So here is a list of replies in no particular order for "What birth control method do you plan on using?"

1. Premature Menopause
2. Not paying anyone $36,000 to get pregnant.
3. Abstinence (This one may only be funny to me.)
4. Early Ovarian Retirement
5. The Calendar method
6. Witchcraft
7. Spite
8. Leaving the 14 other embryos in the freezer.
9. Hypno-birth control
10. Beaver Testicles in moonshine (Oh, Canada...[look it up...you can't make this stuff up...])

So, anyway...Matt is the best, even when he's not sleepy or comfortable.  Hopefully he knows his Mommy and Daddy are trying really hard, and we love him very much.  We will get this figured out, because this is still not near as hard as being told you didn't conceive after an IVF cycle. I just need to read earlier posts in this blog to know that.  It doesn't take much to remember wanting a baby, any baby to remind us how lucky we are.

I am so extremely blessed to get to experience a newborn...well, he's not a newborn anymore!  I am so blessed to experience my baby.  He's an absolute doll, even when he's a fuss-pot.  This is just one of many adventures to come, and I'm excited to be on this journey with him.

Matt, I may not know what I'm doing, but I love you and we are trying our best. We are forever grateful that we get to be your parents.  Hang in there, kid...it's only going to get better!

Peace, Love, & Trying Really Hard,

Mary Katherine

Matt Facts:
Sleeps: Anytime but from 0100 to 0600...that's playtime
Weight:  8+ lbs
Clothing size:  He's outgrown Gerber brand NB size, but fits comfortably in most other NB-sized clothes.  0-3 month still seems SO BIG!
Height: 20.5 inches (at 3 weeks)
Fave Food:  Boobs
Fave Toy:  Mom's hair and Boobs
Fave Comfort Item:  Boobs
Predicted Occupation:  GM at either Twin Peaks or Hooters

3 Weeks of Being Matt's Mom

I'm sure all the feminists out there will roll their eyes, but I had that moment looking in the mirror as I brushed my teeth a couple of days ago and realized...I'm Matt's mom.  I'm someone's mother.  I'm not just Mary Katherine, I'm not just BJ's other half, I'm not just Mickey and Melissa's daughter...I'm Matt's mom, and I LOVE it.  I cherish that title...I don't care if that's all Matt's friends ever call me...I'll be "Matt's Mom" forever.

Now if only I could figure out what being Matt's Mom requires of me.  I don't know if this is true for every infertile, but for me at least...I dreamed of being pregnant and prayed about getting him here safely.  I studied, read and researched pregnancy, but you don't go much further than that, because...well, you just never know.  So while I've had dreams and little snap-shots of what parenting a toddler, an older child, and even a teenager might be like...I never really thought about how I would parent an infant or what my parenting style would be.

Three weeks in and I still have no clue.  Poor Matt, he's got the make-it-up as we go parenting style. We aren't quite doing the attachment parenting thing.  I'm too scared to wear him in a carrier 24/7 that I'll drop something on him, or he'll get hurt in some other way. Then again, I'm too scared to let him sleep very far away from me either...So IDK what does that make me? Attached at a distance parenting?

Whatever we are doing, I feel like he is thriving.  He's so heavy compared to where he started. He's outgrowing clothes.  We don't even overlap the velcro on his diapers anymore.  So in that regard I feel like I must be doing something right.  Not that there is any useful information that I can find on breastfeeding between week 2 of your baby's life and 6 months when you start introducing food.  What's up with that?

So even though I am completely clueless, I am so in love. Matt's having those moments where he gets a little fussy with Grammy or even BJ, but he snugs into my neck, quiets down, and everything in the world is just perfect. I never let myself imagine how perfect and wonderful it could be.

Peace, Love, and Making It Up as We Go,

Mary Katherine & Matt