Random history lesson...
So in this light, me hating Easter bunnies right now has nothing to do with Jesus...that's just a random name we stole to take attention away from the Pagans...Not having copyright laws at the time...
For all the people who like to tell others struggling with fertility to "just relax", "get drunk", "lose/gain weight", "go on vacation". I'd like to share this quote from a study...
Now I realize Dr. Domar is only a psych professor at Harvard, who also works at a fertility clinic in Boston, and just happened to write this quote in an academic study she performed, but that does not make it less true. No, infertility can't kill me like cancer, but my chances of getting a reproductive cancer are statistically much higher with or without fertility treatments. I'm probably not going to drop dead of infertility as would be a risk with heart disease, but if I was told I would never have a child through any means possible, dropping dead would be the least of my concerns. The only terminal disease I have been diagnosed with thus far, is life. But I'll tell you after nearly 5 years of living with a chronic disease in which I cannot bring life to the next generation, a disease that causes great emotional pain and turmoil, a disease which stems from other physically painful diseases, anything terminal would at least give me an idea as to when the pain would be over.
If you are not in my shoes, I know you are saying, "But you have so much to be thankful for." That's easy for you to sit at home and say as you dye Easter eggs and try to remember where you put your children's baskets from last year. I don't want cancer, heart disease, or HIV. But I want you to stop belittling my pain or anyone else you know struggling with infertility because we don't have one of "those" diseases.
I have not lost my hair, but that doesn't mean I don't regularly have to take medicine that makes me feel awful. I promise, the only thing worse than my cramps from endometriosis, are the ones I experience after a treatment cycle. I don't have to be pregnant or on chemo to suffer from nausea, I just need to go from less than normal hormone levels to higher than normal for a woman in her third trimester of pregnancy and back to less than normal in a matter of a month. So while you may understand how we suffer from endless anguish, we physically hurt, too.
We experience the same level of distress with the least amount of compassion from others. I don't ask that you do my share of the work. I don't ask that you make excuses for me. I just ask that you treat me and others struggling with infertility with the same amount of deference you would if we told you we had cancer. We face enough obstacles like no insurance coverage, difficulty accomodating work schedules to treatment cycles, enormous financial tolls, that remind us that no one really understands that infertility is a disease. So next time you want to tell someone, "Just quit thinking about it," ask yourself 'Is this what I would tell someone with cancer?'
Peace, love, and ignoring the bunnies,
MK
So in this light, me hating Easter bunnies right now has nothing to do with Jesus...that's just a random name we stole to take attention away from the Pagans...Not having copyright laws at the time...
For all the people who like to tell others struggling with fertility to "just relax", "get drunk", "lose/gain weight", "go on vacation". I'd like to share this quote from a study...
Now I realize Dr. Domar is only a psych professor at Harvard, who also works at a fertility clinic in Boston, and just happened to write this quote in an academic study she performed, but that does not make it less true. No, infertility can't kill me like cancer, but my chances of getting a reproductive cancer are statistically much higher with or without fertility treatments. I'm probably not going to drop dead of infertility as would be a risk with heart disease, but if I was told I would never have a child through any means possible, dropping dead would be the least of my concerns. The only terminal disease I have been diagnosed with thus far, is life. But I'll tell you after nearly 5 years of living with a chronic disease in which I cannot bring life to the next generation, a disease that causes great emotional pain and turmoil, a disease which stems from other physically painful diseases, anything terminal would at least give me an idea as to when the pain would be over.
If you are not in my shoes, I know you are saying, "But you have so much to be thankful for." That's easy for you to sit at home and say as you dye Easter eggs and try to remember where you put your children's baskets from last year. I don't want cancer, heart disease, or HIV. But I want you to stop belittling my pain or anyone else you know struggling with infertility because we don't have one of "those" diseases.
I have not lost my hair, but that doesn't mean I don't regularly have to take medicine that makes me feel awful. I promise, the only thing worse than my cramps from endometriosis, are the ones I experience after a treatment cycle. I don't have to be pregnant or on chemo to suffer from nausea, I just need to go from less than normal hormone levels to higher than normal for a woman in her third trimester of pregnancy and back to less than normal in a matter of a month. So while you may understand how we suffer from endless anguish, we physically hurt, too.
We experience the same level of distress with the least amount of compassion from others. I don't ask that you do my share of the work. I don't ask that you make excuses for me. I just ask that you treat me and others struggling with infertility with the same amount of deference you would if we told you we had cancer. We face enough obstacles like no insurance coverage, difficulty accomodating work schedules to treatment cycles, enormous financial tolls, that remind us that no one really understands that infertility is a disease. So next time you want to tell someone, "Just quit thinking about it," ask yourself 'Is this what I would tell someone with cancer?'
Peace, love, and ignoring the bunnies,
MK
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