Introducing me, the control freak...

I'm a bit of a control freak. I had to know when I was going to be proposed to. I wanted to get married in June...we booked the reception site before BJ had proposed! In MK's world where everything is perfect and there is a lot more pink, the master plan had been to be married for two years and then conceive a child in June, tell everyone I was pregnant in October, give birth in April, take the rest of the school year off, and have the summer with my precious little boy. Four years later, my little girl would be born and the Roberts family complete.

Sounds a bit over the top, right? Well, my mom conceived both her children the first month she tried. My mother-in-law conceived both her children the first month she tried. My brother-in-law has a beautiful little girl. My cousins all have children. As far as we know, there is no family history of infertility. Well, if you think about that, duh! How could you have a family? Fertility treatments have come a long way since even 15 years ago. My RE told me that the clinic he was doing his fellowship with had a 19% success rate with IVF in 94. They were really proud of this! That would be considered horrendous by today's standards where they expect over a 50% success rate with women under the age of 32.

Anyway, I had no reason to think that I would have any trouble conceiving. With that in my head I started researching the whole pregnancy thing in February 2010. I read What to Expect and You:Having a Baby cover to cover before we officially started trying. I had to know every detail of everything that could possibly happen. I started pre-natal vitamins in March 2010. I quit drinking caffeine or ingesting anything with artificial sweeteners in May. I wouldn't eat foods heated in plastic. From June 2010 to June 2011 I maybe had 5 servings of alcohol. This baby was going to be exposed to no toxins! June came and I had my yearly scheduled with my gyno. He gave me a plan based on the number of days of my cycle for the best days for BJ and I to get busy. How could we fail? We had a plan! BJ and I were ready to go. This was going to be a piece of cake. Well the Powers that be had an alternate plan...

So, anyway you can imagine the disappointment when it didn't work out. We followed "the plan" religiously. Every other day on the days we were advised, and we still failed. Which is how I took it. It was a personal failure on my part. BJ was not worried, in fact I'm sure BJ was just fine with having to try again and again...

Well enough about my neurosis...

Until we meet again,
MK