There is a huge picture window at the end of the hall I work on. So every time I walked down the hall while I was pregnant and saw myself with an expansive belly I'd just smile like a goober. So now, with everything except my boobs back to normal, I am still overwhelmed at my reflection...there was a baby and now there IS a REAL baby! And now my baby boy totally flashes these uber goober smiles at me all the time. Nothing but gums, cheeks and squinty eyes. And I am so in love...
I can't believe Matthew (Matt-moo) has been with us for 5 months. It is still so completely surreal. I would never wish infertility on anyone, but I wish you could see Matt through my eyes. He's an absolute gift. I cherish him maybe a little bit differently. I don't take any moment with him for granted because he shouldn't be here. I am so blessed. There is just a level of appreciation and gratitude that I know I would never have had if I'd "just gotten pregnant". He is my miracle. He's amazing. He's MY son that I honestly never knew I would have. I think that's the first time I've said that...'My son'...I have a son, and he is just the best thing that's happened to me since BJ.
But I do think it is different. Like a second chance at life, only a deeper gratitude for the ability to parent. So when he's screaming bloody murder, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS whisper "I love you" into his ear. I hate that I can't fix his problems, but I'll always be there for him. And I feel so privileged to get to be the Mama that tries to soothe him. The level of adoration I have is intoxicating. I can't wait for that next snuggle, that next tuck of his head beneath my chin, and that moment he lets his body relax in my arms. I'm just love-drunk over this baby.
BJ had his first father's day with Matt, and it was awesome for me. I think I liked it better than Mother's Day. I don't have to feel like the reason BJ will never be a father anymore for one thing. And Matt's a pretty sweet baby. We went out to eat with BJ's parents and just enjoyed each others' company. It's nice to feel included in these parental unit celebration days!
Matt also stayed with his Mimi and Papaw for a weekend. They did great with him, especially my niece Makayla...who probably has better baby skills than I do. She is just devoted to His Royal Mattness, and I just love watching them. Seriously, if it weren't for child labor laws, she'd by my #1 choice for live-in Nanny.
So Matt at 5 months wants to stand ALL of the time. He's of course nowhere ready for that, and his feet still don't touch on the exer-saucer w/out pillows, but we do manage. Meanwhile, I'm seeing some more definition in my biceps. When he allows you to bend him at the waist, which seems less frequently than other babies of similar age, he can sit with minimal support. And he rolls all of the times. You put him down on his tummy, he's on his back, you put him down on his back and he's on his tummy. You put him on his side and he's confused for a few seconds before figuring out which way will be the way you least desire him.
He's also decided he is ready to eat. I dropped a cracker and he went to town on it. It was a saltine and it was the last thing I would have wanted him to have, but then I thought well, hell, baby-lead weaning and all that jazz. So he ended up slobber-dissolving a 1/3 of it. The goal had been 6 months of exclusive breast-feeding, but he had all of the physical milestones down if not super-ceded. He's a pretty neat eater for a baby. He doesn't spit stuff out, so I guess he was ready. As of now he's had avocado and sweet potato prepared by me. I wish cooking for adults was this easy. Peel, Steam, puree, DONE... I still think it's fun to spoon feed a baby. Matt wishes I'd let him have the spoon, but he just gags himself on it...So while I can, I'm just gonna stick w/the puree's. I'm sure we'll convert to more baby-lead weaning as his dexterity improves, but for now, I'm enjoying this...and I have nearly 70 servings of pureed baby foodsicles in my freezer...
So Matt Facts:
Height: Wee (Haven't measured him since 4 mos...)
Weight: According my scale he's just over 16 lbs...
Fave Food: Boob Juice w/sweet potato a close second
Fave Toy: Sophie the Giraffe has taken over...much to the disapproval of dogs EVERYWHERE. "Why is that bald puppy chewing my toy?" They say with their eyes while simultaneously expressing betrayal and hurt.
Fave Comfort Item: Mama and the Wubbanubs are on equal ground right about now...
Teeth: None, but I'm hoping I didn't create an infant Tylenol addict over nothing. He's been fussy, drooly and finger chewing off and on for a week, but I can't feel anything....Isn't that teething?
Future Career: Dentistry. He's currently giving free dental screenings to whoever allows him to stick his fingers in your mouth. *Please Note that this should not replace your biannual dental cleanings and exams at your preferred, licensed dentist. Matt hasn't been to preschool, yet, nor does he have a firm grasp on English at this point...He will have a firm grasp on you lips, so do be prepared...
Peace, Love, and Gummy Smiles,
Mary Katherine & Matt