Tuesday, April 1, 2014

TMI

So....

Sorry for the lack of updating in March...but I was too attached to heating pads it seemed to type much...and when I wasn't, I wasn't sitting down.

So apparently March Endometriosis Awareness Month was my body's chance to show how aware it really wanted me to be.  For the first time in my life I got to experience that 2 week cycle thing, ok it was actually 17 days, but still....I've heard ladies complain, but I normally live in 31-45 day land give or take another month...and this was friggin' nut-so.  I flat-out find it unpatriotic and unacceptable. AND it would be one thing if it was just "Oh, hello and goodbye" in 2 days of Hellful vengeance like it normally is, but this is still going.



As of tomorrow, this will have lasted 3x longer than any other period in the history of my life.  Ok so that may only be 6 days...but I feel like I'm bleeding to death.  Which I know, I'm just being a baby and there are people who normally bleed for 5-7 days, and things are fine.  At least by days 4 and 5 I can somewhat tolerate life.  Like it only hurts when I stay still for too long.  So sleeping is barely an option and sitting still feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus.  And if I hold still long enough I'm pretty sure my uterus is trying to turn inside out and fall out of my body faster than Mrs. Duggar's.  At least that's just what it feels like.  So I just keep moving as much as possible.


Oh, yeah...so the even more funner part (yes, I said more funner) of this story is that all this has happened while on the 2nd week of my active pills of my birth control.  Oh and before you say, "Oh that's just breakthrough"...NO, NO....I know what breakthrough is...this was full-out I'm showing you who's boss sending you to the bathroom, breaking you out in cold sweats, cramping so bad you can't get out of bed and do anything for 2 solid days, making you puke, making the curtains close over you eyes when you try to do stuff so you have to sit down or you will fall down, lose 6 lbs in a day from diarrhea, horribleness.  So, unless that's what breakthrough bleeding is like...



I got to see Dr. Donesky for all this and he said, "Huh? And you waited until after a period to start the birth control pills?"
This is like confusing Einstein on the theory of relativity...I've confused Einstein...

He did say that I have lost my period privileges, so I get to skip all the sugar pills from now until I conceive a child, need a special test, or have a hysterectomy!!! YAY!!!!! But we are just in a holding pattern to see what happens before we do anything more.  My estrogen may be low for whatever reason...so I may need a stronger pill if this doesn't stop, soonerish... 

All I know is I want more estrogen like someone wants more sunburn, so hopefully it will stop.  Short of it is...when your pregnancy is "chemically enhanced"...err..."chemically dependent" rather none of this matters because they'll just give me whatever hormone cocktail I need to fix it.  I just want to not bleed to death in the meantime...[I'm exaggerating.]

Honestly, I don't know how the "normal 5-7 days every 28 days" women live.  I mean all these feminine products are expensive...I can buy the big box and that's like almost a year supply for me typically...I spend more money on ibuprofen and heat patches...this is bloody ridiculous...literally...I seriously buy them so infrequently that I'm still embarrassed when I do have to buy them and usually send BJ to do it...Well, that secret is out...

In other more uplifting news...I saw Dr. Donesky on the same day for other reasons and he told me we were in good shape to collect some eggs in June.  YAY!!!  We got to see a social worker who thinks that we are a good fit to be parents...YAY!!!  I almost lost it when she asked if mental illness runs in our family..."Run? No....it just flaunts itself proudly amongst us!"  Fortunately, I was interrupted before that left my mouth...I'll never make it through an adoption work-up... 

So things are getting semi-serious in the old Roberts' Household of Fertility Doom.  BJ's been sticking to his Vitamin Candy regimen.  I'm not gonna lie...someone gave me their gummie prenatals and they are way more fun...He'll have to send his swimmers to the Fertility Trials soon. YAY!!!  I've lost 20lbs since January...wow...that was another Freudian slip...but last June...I've lost 3.5 inches around my boobs to show for that so far...and like a millimeter or 2 on all the other places...but hey...

It's really bizarre to be excited about possibly having kids again.  Literally last week, I was telling BJ this wasn't going to work and he was pretty miffed at me...as he should have been.  I hear that roller coaster of Joy/Grief/Joy/Grief roaring in the distance.  I don't know how to flatten it.  I know we wouldn't be doing this without more than an outside possibility that it would work.  Dr. Donesky would not string us along, and he has the stats to back himself up.  Well, it's not really going to matter too much for a bit because all of our embryos are going straight to the freezer... so I guess there is less pressure...we're good at making eggs, were good at fertilizing... it's touchy with the blastocysts... and we're taking the implantation out the equation, so at this point, I think it's okay to be a little excited.

Peace, Love, and Hopefully Not Exsanguinating,
MK





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