Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Letter to My Child

My Dear Little One,

We haven't met yet, and I am still not sure how or when it is going to happen, but I wanted to tell you that Mommy and Daddy already love you so very much.  I believe in you, Baby, OUR Baby.  Your little soul is floating around somewhere, and we are doing our best to be patient in the meantime.  It's hard, but we'll make it, somehow.  You're too beautiful of a dream to even fathom giving up on.

I wanted you to know that Mommy and Daddy are working hard to make a life for ourselves so that you can feel loved, cherished, and supported.  We're getting there, especially your Mommy.  I didn't know how much I could enjoy living until I started enjoying living.  It was hard to be so focused on meeting you that I forgot that I had a life to live in the meantime.  It's hard to believe that I forgot how lucky I was to have your Dad!  Just wait until you meet Daddy.  He's the kindest, most faithful, and loving man you could ever meet.

I have been thinking about you, my precious one, an awful lot recently.  It is getting nearer to the time where we will be re-embarking on our journey to meet you.  I was so angry and embittered last time.  I was so mad at myself that I just couldn't have you like a "normal family".  I couldn't accept that I couldn't have my cute roly-poly non-stop little boy just like I wanted, when I wanted.  I was so scared that I would get so close, and then lose you, forever.

I am still scared.  As I get closer to graduating, my fear builds.  But I am ok with being scared, and I am certainly excited, too.  I am not angry at myself, anymore.  I'm just me.  It's still going to be a hard road whether I choose to be angry at myself for something I had absolutely no control over, or I choose to be happy and thankful that I have the opportunity to bring you to us at all.  And you know who helped me learn this?  You did!  I will never be able to thank you enough.

I want you to know, that we will love you no matter how you appear, what you look like, and what gifts you do or don't have.  You don't have to be anything for us but your beautiful self.  You will be perfect for us.  So don't be scared, Little One.  Neither you nor your parents have anything but good things to look forward to from here.

Mommy and Daddy

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