Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Have a Confession

So everyday since, oh, August 20th, 2012 I've started my day by blasting Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger". I ain't ashamed. I have an entire playlist of all the awesome breakup songs I never thought I'd have a need for again under the title "Infertility".

I've come to the conclusion that infertility is extremely close to having an abusive boyfriend.  So, yes, I've personified infertility which may seem a little One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but actually it's very in line with Gestalt therapy.  I've always had a propensity towards Gestalt because a.) you can tell your clients what you think of them as their therapist (i.e. "You are driving me nuts, and make me want to hide under my desk") [*Please, note I did decide that counseling was not the best fit for me] and b.) you get to personify things about yourself and smack talk them....Well, with the idea that you'll apologize and forgive yourself as you hash that part of yourself out with your rational self.

ANYWAY...Another song on my almost daily playlist is Linkin Park's "Waiting on the End to Come" mostly for the lines:
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

It's not as poignant as it once was at the beginning of this terror ride of fertility treatments, but I do still hold on to what I haven't got.  Anyway, it's a good song that, even though is sad in the true intention of the song, is empowering to me.  It's amazing what music can do for you.  Especially when you personalize it to your situations.  I mean I'm totally rocking "Stronger" with middle school girls going through their first break-up, with as much excitement and vengeance as any of them.

What are your power songs?  What is your go to song that helps you get excited for the day and fight your inner-battles?  

Peace, Love, and Rock & Roll,


  1. "Days Go By" - Keith Urban
    It reminds me that time is fleeting and that I need to grab what I can right now and not dwell on past mistakes or losses because the days are going by whether I'm truly "in" them or not. (It's also got a good rhythm that gets my heart started!)

  2. Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine. Blasted it every day I had an ultrasound after my miscarriage.