Sunday, March 29, 2015

Lab Rats

Well, I can say that's a wrap on that "Mock Cycle with Endometrial Receptivity Assay".  It has been an interesting learning experience taking on the "crazy shots" without the emotional turmoil of 'Will this work this time?'.

One, they really make me tired. Super-tired.  I feel sleep-starved all the time, but I also wake up all the time.  I have thought before that they did, but I also did not know if it was just a way for me to avoid emotional turmoil by sleeping all the time...although to sleep all the time, one would actually have to be able to sleep...

I don't particularly feel bitchy or irritable, and if I come off that way, I can't say it's not sleep-related. I feel crampy and crappy and premenstrual with or without an actual transfer procedure.  So, I guess, it's a nice baseline.  I don't feel different.  I did not feel particularly different this cycle, my last treatment cycle, or the one before that where I actually had implantation occur. So, I guess what they always told me is correct.  You just don't know until you know.

Emotionally, I'm not particularly anything.  I'm happy to have the biopsy over with, but a little anxious that my results are going to come back comparing my uterus to Chernobyl.  Logically, I am doubtful because of the aforementioned implantation...but then's me.  I mean, on all counts thus far, I have fallen into the slimmest of statistics when it comes to infertility.

We did get BJ's results, and well, they tended back to the original SA he had 4 or more years ago...Not horrible, but definitely will still need to use intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).  Too many immature and some other smaller issues.  Dr. Donesky said we would still qualify for the guarantee program, so it's not that horrible, but he did suggest BJ up his vitamin and antioxidant game.

So we just wait. We wait and a few more days, and maybe a few more until we know something. Everyday my logical side has to fight my Debbie Downer side a little harder.  But trudge on I must, because life doesn't give me any other option at this point.

Peace, Love, and Happy Waiting,


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