Monday, March 9, 2015

This is 30...

To rip off one of my favorite Judd Apatow flicks...

So far, I've been told I have arthritis, gone into menopause, had a fibroid removed, gotten my first cortisone shot, and had a failed egg donor cycle.

Basically, 30s are my late forties...

Despite all that hoopla, BJ and I are moving on with our lives to the next venture in this struggle, which is this endometrial receptivity assay.  Speaking of high tech testing, BJ, too, gets to have another test done to make sure his swimmers, are indeed, as good as his last test said they were.

So I just took my third injection of delestrogen, which is similar to the progesterone in oil shots except they are given in smaller amounts.  We had to go this route because my body is so depleted of estrogen that I apparently metabolize all the estrogen from transdermal patches too quickly.  It will be interesting to see what my estrogen level gets up to next week.  My baseline was 9, which is low...but since we are using shots this time, it should shoot right up.

So once the tests come back, Dr. Donesky will be able to tell us if we are indeed candidates for a money-back guarantee program for egg-donation cycles.  Preliminarily, we are, and so we have started the egg-donation process again.

When people ask me, "have you though about adoption...", "Are you going to adopt?", or say, "You know you can just adopt"...when the black leaves my eyes, and I can see through the wall of rage that I immediately throw up in defense, I try to explain that I have been told many times, that my uterus looks fine. This ERA should give us a final answer confirming that, one way or another.  Egg donation is cheaper than adoption.  I get to experience pregnancy.  I get to carry my husband's genetic child.  I get to talk to my baby from the moment its little ears work.  I don't have to pay the egg donor's cost of living even if she drinks, does cocaine or meth, or otherwise partakes in harmful behavior and exposes our would be children, unlike adoption.  Nor can the egg donor say she wants her eggs back and keep all her money.  So please, tell me, tell me since you know so much more about my situation apparently, why I should "just adopt"?

With this money-back guarantee program, we pay a little more up-front, but if at the end of a determined amount of tries (potentially a lot), I do not end up with a live baby in my arms, we get our money back.  Money that we can put towards adoption, re-doing our house to make it cozier for just the two of us, or a really nice vacation.  Whichever, but my point is not that it costs more, it's that Dr. Donesky and his group are that confident we can conceive with egg donation.  He has told me from the beginning and numerous times since, that I am capable of carrying a pregnancy.

With my post-op appointment, we discussed how, in fairness to my uterus, it's only gotten one decent shot at conceiving all this time, and that was my last cycle.  So, I am excited to be moving forward, and getting the last of the answers we need.

Peace, Love, and JUST Not Killing You for Telling Me I Could "Just Adopt",

Mary Katherine

"Don't wish me happiness. I don't expect to be happy all the time... It's gotten beyond that somehow.  Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor. I will need them all." 
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh 

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