Oh, my gosh, I just keep falling more in love with my little guy. He's such a blessing to wake up to every morning! It's honestly a privilege to be his Mama.
I am just still so thrilled. And the more smiles and giggles and milestones just make it that much sweeter. He's so much fun to play with, love on, and listen to his stories. He has big adventures, apparently and is very insistent on telling us about them.
Well, maternity leave has been wonderful, busy, and amazing. I have missed my work family, however. In fact, I haven't had the 'I can't leave my baby' panics until just these last couple of days. I love that I work nights because I won't miss much of his days, but I hate that I'm going to miss those nights with him. Those nighttime feeds are the best when he just snuggles into my neck...*sigh* But, I'm sure he'll do fine. I mean he spent nearly half the length of my shift at a babysitter's house, and survived. It is time to move on to my new normal. Besides, I really don't think that I'd be happy as a SHM, either. I think being in school has kind of masked how much I would miss adult contact and using my brain for science-y/nursey/medical things.
Don't get me wrong...The nursing profession is amazing. The people I work with are amazing. While only having to work 5 shifts in 14 days, seems amazing, but no matter how I slice it, it's always inconvenient. I always schedule myself on a day BJ wants to be spontaneous or family wants to get together, etc. So this last 12 weeks has been pretty wonderful for getting to visit our families whenever we wanted.
Back in the milk barn, I'm on my second round of Diflucan and nipple ointment. I finished the first round and had maybe 2 days where I thought, oh, this has the potential to not be soo awful. But by day three I was contemplating calling the lactation consultant back if I wasn't better in a couple of days and the next day I was so bad that I went ahead and called. *SIGH* I kinda hate my fire boobs right now...but even if I stopped breastfeeding, I'd still be yeasty, and engorged, so it's not worth it. Matt on the other hand has absolutely no signs of thrush. He does pull off my breast and seem gassy when I'm at my worst, so that fits in with thrush of the breast. Fortunately, he's been spared the throat infection and diaper rash. I have nystatin that I swab in his mouth a couple of times a day, just in case, but I hate treating him for something he doesn't have. And his pediatrician, my pediatrician (Nicole, Matt's Godmother, LOL), and even my LC said he didn't need to be treated. I just constantly feel like I ran a 10K w/out a bra in an itchy shirt. Usually about a half hour after I nurse I have stabbing pains, and it sorta feels like I sprained my nipples.
I wash everything in hot water, I change out my nursing pads frequently, I let my girls air dry as much as possible, but apparently fungii love me. I tried starving myself and eating only vegetables to see if not feeding the infection any sugar would help. The only thing I haven't tried is gentian violet because I can't afford to ruin the few clothes my boobs will fit in.
But Matt is SOOOO worth it. Look at these tubby little legs and healthy glow.
Peace, Love, and Embracing New Normals,
MK
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