Thursday, July 28, 2011


So blogging has been a super awesome experience thus far.  From people at work to Facebook friends, I've been very blessed with prayers and support.  I've also started getting a lot of questions, which I totally don't mind to answer at all.  I wouldn't blog if I didn't want to talk about it.  I'm by no means the authority on any of this stuff, but I'll happily tell ya what I do know.  So here is what I've been asked the most...

How are you doing now after your biopsy?
Well, fine now.  The second day was worse, and I took some real drugs, used my heating pad, and lazied around a bit.  Yesterday and today I've had some mild cramping off and on, but as long as I take ibuprofen I'm fine.  I don't even have to take it in the middle of the night, so it's not anything like my menstrual cramps.  I will say I'm not looking forward to having it done again if I need to go another round, but it won't stop me either.

Have you tried taking a trip/relaxing/getting drunk/standing on your head/etc. and so forth?...
Yes, all of the above and tons more. We even got a dog thinking it would be a distraction in a positive sense...No luck... So on to IVF, but I do have one awesomely cute puppy.  It was especially awesome when she cuddled with me after I was so distraught from my previous failed attempts.  It's great to have something that depends on you to keep you grounded.

Do you think it was all that gymnastics that made you infertile?
No gymnastics did not make me infertile, nor did it make me short.  I have several former teammates who are parents.  It may have made me crazy and high-strung, but not infertile.

Do you know fertility drugs will give you cancer?
     Uh, well, my doctors have told me that being infertile makes me more susceptible to ovarian cancer.  It turns out that a lot of infertile people use fertility drugs (go figure!).  There is no conclusive proof that the drugs increase your chance of cancer because you already have an increased chance of getting cancer. I really want to have a baby, so even if they had conclusive proof, I'd be taking my chances. Thanks, for thinking of me, though.
     The more you ovulate, the more your chance of cancer increases. I guess Mrs. Duggar from 20 Kids and Counting is going to live forever.  I'm hoping that I can have my babies and then get rid of my time-bomb ovaries when BJ and I are done building our family.  What I think is pretty interesting is that I'm using a lot of medications that are used to treat cancers in smaller doses. Femara, for instance, which works similarly to Clomid, is used to treat breast cancer in post-menopausal women. It is crazy how many things they can do with one drug.

I know somebody who died from an air bubble in their injection.  Be careful!
I realize this isn't a question, but hehehe!  I saw that movie, too! Um, I'm not injecting anything into any arteries or veins, nor are we talking about huge amounts of bubbles.  I'll be careful, but I'm gonna take my chances, thanks.

Is BJ going to give you your shots?
I'd say we have about as much of a chance of that happening as BJ has of getting pregnant, himself.  The man loathes all needles passionately.  I've been doing good to have him holding my hand while I've had crap steps!

MK, did you know that Clomid can make you really emotional?
Have you read my blog?

Don't you worry that your kids will have fertility problems?
All the does make me feel guilty, so I've started looking into it. The first IVF baby, Louise Brown, conceived a baby naturally and gave birth to a healthy son in 2006.  Even better, her younger sister, also born via IVF in 1982, conceived naturally and gave birth in 1999...when she was, um, I would wager that she thought she would have a fertility problem, and it didn't work out for her so much. (OOPS!) It doesn't seem like infertility is genetic, which makes obvious sense. It's an awfully hard gene to pass on since we've only had assisted reproductive technologies for 30ish years, and they've only been really successful in the past 10.

Are your kids gonna have birth defects?
I hope not. IVF babies seem to have exactly the same rate of birth defects as the naturally conceived population. There are even some studies that show a decreased rate of birth defects which makes sense.  I've been on prenatal vitamins for about a year and a half so I should have plenty of folic acid.  They have a lot more control in an IVF cycle than in a natural cycle.  They are going to hand select my best eggs and BJ's best sperm, so hopefully my child(ren) will be perfectly healthy!

So, uh, are you gonna have a ton of babies?
I don't plan to...with an IVF cycle and using two embryos, I have 60% chance of conceiving, 30% chance of having twins, 4% chance of triplets and a minuscule chance of quads or more...

Wait, how do you get triplets from two embryos?
They aren't really sure why, but IVF babies tend to become identical twins at an increased rate over the naturally conceived population.  Dr. D thinks that maybe all the catheters and adventures that IVF embryos are put through may cause a tiny bit of damage that creates a cleaving point for the embryo to splice itself, thus creating identical twins.  So triplets would be both embryos implanting and one becoming a set of identical twins...YIKES!

Do you want twins?
I'm waffling...It would be great to be one and done, but then it would also be sad to know I'll never have a newborn again.  I'm also scared of one newborn to be honest, so I can't imagine trying to care for two.  People do it all the time, so I'm sure we'd survive but it's a bit overwhelming. I also have to think that I'm already going to be a high-risk pregnancy, so twins would just be an additional risk.  After talking to another lady who just conceived twins on the same protocol as I'm going on, I was all about it. They would be so cute!  Then I met someone with twins and thought that the behemoth twin stroller was not cute at all. (I know...I never said I wasn't ridiculous!...besides I've had my eye on a really cute singleton stroller for quite a while...) I'm sure I'll even be sad over the embryo that didn't make it if I end up with a singleton, but I'll take whatever I get and probably be absolutely ecstatic.

Are you going to pick the gender/hair color/eye color/etc. of your baby?
While pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) is available it's about $5,000 per embryo. So, uh, we'll keep it as old-fashioned as possible and be surprised.  Fertile couples have used IVF to have family balancing, but that is kind of weird to me. I'm kind of disgusted that a fertile person would subject themselves to this craziness. I'm shallow enough to admit I want a blonde baby, but I think I'm gonna be alright if it doesn't happen...besides there is always hair dye...

Are you scared?
Terrified! Not of any of the procedures, but at the possibility of it not working. (Note that not being scared of procedures does not preclude me from whining about them!) The good thing is, that they will learn a ton about my reproductive issues that they just can't figure out with fertility tests and IUI's such as my egg quality.  So hopefully, Dr. D will be able to figure out what went wrong and come up with a solution for us.  But I just can't fathom that outcome right now...way too depressing.  HAPPY THOUGHTS!

What's been the weirdest thing so far?
Probably during the 2nd IUI when the nurse asked BJ if he wanted to push the plunger on the IUI catheter...BJ stuttered and said, "I've only had environmental science in college.  I'm not qualified."  I guess that isn't weird, but it was really awkward for BJ and funny to me.

Are you going to tell your kids they were conceived through IVF?
HECK YEAH!  Ya'll breeders are gonna be so jealous when your three year-old asks you where babies come from, and I will simply and truthfully tell mine from the doctor's office.  SCORE!  I don't see why not.  Maybe they'll have an inkling of an idea of how much they were loved before they were even born.

Are your kids going to be spoiled?
Have you met my parents?  I hope so.  I want nothing more than a fulfilling and enriching life with lots of opportunities for my kiddos.  However, I don't want to be "that couple" with spawn of Satan because my children are too precious to be disciplined.  They may be over-loved, but BJ and I both agree that difficulty conceiving does not excuse poor discipline on our parts.  That is the grandparents job, and I'm sure my daddy will exceed expectations!

What are you gonna do if it doesn't work?
UGH!  Take a little time to mourn. I will have actually had a miscarriage at this point, so I think I'll deserve a little time.  Figure out what we can learn from this cycle and do what my doctor says I need to do to prepare for the frozen embryo transfer (FET).  I'll be absolutely devastated, I know that much.  BJ and I'll just have to sit down, examine the facts, and decide whether to try again.  We may also start looking more seriously into adoption.  It seems a little cruel that with adoption they request that you prepare a nursery when you may not have a baby to put in it for a really long time, and I know I'm not ready for that, yet.  Hopefully we don't have to find out what I'm going to do.  Although, I have threatened to start working out again and audition with Cirque du Soleil.  I think I could be a tumbler, especially on their criss-crossing tumble tracks.  There is also medical school...who knows? Again, I hope we don't ever have to find out...

I think that covers about everything...if ya got something else, feel free to ask. The worst that is going to happen is I'll make fun of you...hehe...

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