Wednesday, June 20, 2012

What's New?

Being unconditionally, happy.  That is what's new.

I wake up, and I have an amazing husband, silly pets, amazing family, amazing friends and a lot more perspective. I'm a helluva lucky lady.  I enjoy each and every day that I am very blessed to have.

I've also been blessed with the ability to go back and do what I should have done 10 years ago now.  I have always been fascinated with medicine...like don't try to talk to me while I'm watching Discovery Heath & Fitness Mystery Diagnosis...and occasionally yelling something 5 minutes into the show like, "it's Marfan's Syndrome you ignorant buffoons and I have a degree in counseling." I just never really had the passion to give up 8-10 years of my life, and if I had I would have never met my Lobster, BJ.   I, more than anything and still holding true today, wanted a family and a life, which while I have some friends that are clearly able to balance their MD and having a family, it's still not really what I want.  If I had endless money, time and no husband, I'd go back in a heart beat.  I don't...so I did something else.  As I have always been forthright about, I picked school counseling for the "Mommy hours." Only, it turned out those didn't really exist, nor would being a Mommy come so easily for me.

When I started having to go to the doctor practically every day in Winter 2011, I had to fight the urge to follow the nurse with my blood sample back into the lab (well, when I had my pants on, anyway).  Not because of wanting my results, but having this absolute compulsion to know what she was doing, why she was doing it, how she was doing it, and what it would mean for BJ and I, or anybody else for that matter.  Sometimes, I think I come off as being nosy, but it's more that I can't stand not knowing the why's and how come's.  I want to know absolutely everything there is to know about a situation so I can understand it. I blame my parents for hardly ever saying, "Because, I said so." I had my brother's Funk & Wagnall's Encyclopedia set so I could look it up back before the days of Wikipedia, anyway!

Anysomewho, after some soul-searching, debating and taking in a good dose of practicality, I've decided to go to nursing school.  Since I already have a Bachelor's in Exercise and Sports Science (aka human performance) I didn't have to do too much to qualify for an accelerated BSN program.  I thought about a degree as a physician assistant, BUT, to be honest, I've never had a good experience with one.  Plus, I'd really like to go into women's medicine, and I've never seen a PA in a OB/GYN office. I HAVE seen several Nurse Practitioners.  Not to mention  that I can work as an RN while pursuing my MSN.  It will also enable me to return to the "pursuit of family" before my already scrambled eggs go bad with age.  Ultimately, I'd love grow up to be a Pat Whited and work in a fertility clinic to help other people in the horrible predicament of infertility.  I'd love to be somewhere like my fertility clinic where they are very forward thinking and oriented to the latest research.  They seem to have hired several former patients, so hmm... 

I realize I'm still in the throes of infertility, but ultimately, I know that BJ and I will be parents.  I have no such clue as to how that is going to happen, but for once I can honestly say, "I don't care." We still have so many options that we are blessed to have afforded to us.  Whether we pursue domestic infant adoption, foreign adoption, pursue IVF again, embryo adoption, use an egg donor, we are going to get the same result, eventually.  I've accepted that it's not going to be on my timeline, but as it turns out...thank goodness.  Sometimes I think the Man upstairs knows what He's doing after all...;).

So back to reality.  I've got a couple months before I'm eagerly pursuing a degree in Nursing, and I'm really getting excited. In the mean time, I'm just sitting back, reading like I'm about to not be able to do so for pleasure for 18 months, helping my dad close up his law practice, drinking coffee again, and just enjoying everything for the sake of just enjoying it.  With everything that has happened, it's still pretty good to be me... ;)

Peace, Love and the Pursuit of Self-actualization,

Mary Katherine Roberts
Stupidly Happy Person for No Good Reason, Future Nurse Ratchet
 

4 comments:

  1. This is so awesome to read. I have a few friends who went into nursing after getting a liberal arts degree and not being satisfied with the careers they were in and they are so happy they did it. My mom was an RN and even though she stopped practicing many years ago, it helped her in the adult care service arena in many ways.

    I loved all my RE's nurses. They were so fantastic.
    xoxo

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  2. I am so damned proud of you!! And I miss you and BJ. A lot.

    Paige

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