Sunday, November 8, 2015

27.4...Such Blessings (except, not Panera)

It has been a wonderful week full of new aches and pains, and I feel so blessed to have them!

I am trying to be better about putting my feet up when possible, because I definintely have some swelling stuff going on...still mostly in my left leg.  I get cramps in my left calf almost nightly. The other night, my calf would cramp, I'd try to pull my toes back, and then my shin muscle would cramp, so I'd point my toe, but then my calf would cramp again, and on and on.... It hurt so bad, but was so ridiculous at the same time, all I could do was laugh.  It went on for longer than I appreciated, so I had to get up and walk around which did resolve it. It was a doozy enough of a cramp that my leg is sore 2 days later, though.

With the swelling, my compartment syndrome comes back and causes me to have drop foot. (I can't pull my toes up when I walk...but it's fine, I used to try to vault like that!) I even get it on the add that to being a natural-born klutz, and I think I've stumbled around more than I've walked this week, but I have remained upright thanks to my ever-graceful, gymnastics/ninja skills.

My belly seems to be growing by leaps and bounds...I can feel kicks almost at my rib cage level.  It still makes me grin like an idiot.  I feel all that stretching in my hips and abs, too.  It was funny, at Target today in the checkout, there were 3 magazines touting flatter abs or "Get Your Best Abs Now", I've never loved my abdomen as much as I do right now, so pfft, you can have your flat ones...I've got Pico abs!

I'm really enjoying yoga...I may sleep for parts of the class, but the instructor never says anything. Pico loves the big position changes and just squirms away.  Pico also really likes Savasana, which is supposed to be calm time, but I keep getting the giggles because my belly is dancing without me.  It's hard to do a good semi-reclining corpse pose while your belly bounces from side to side without your control.

We were also blessed to have our first baby shower.  It was just a few close friends.  BJ played and played with our hosts' 1 and 4 year-old daughters. Pico, you are so lucky.  It still melts my heart to see BJ with children.  It was really hard to watch when we weren't sure if children were ever going to be in our future, because I felt like I was taking someone who would make an amazing father out the line-up.

Meanwhile, I was all like, 'What?! You don't want your 1 year-old to eat half of my cupcake?!'

As you can tell, I'm a little behind the curve ball...and actually, I've not got a lot of baby experience in general. The only diaper I changed in recent history was my god son's diaper...the rest of my diaper changing repertoire has been on hospitalized octogenarians.  I've put the first diaper on brand new babies, but that's pretty easy.  It's a surprise attack, and they don't know what's happening.  It's hitting me that after about the first 2 hours, I'm not sure what happens to babies. Do elves come?  Do they start talking just to you, so you can figure out what they need? Do they purr and then bite you when you've stayed in bed too long and they are hungry?  BJ and I are both the babies of our family so he's not got any experience either.  He's never changed a diaper, but I figure if he can diaper our cat Lucifer, he should be set.  Oh Lufie...Here sweet kitty!!!

Anyway, we had a glorious time and got some cute things for Pico and/or Emma.  My parents got Pico the little gym thing that you put babies on and you can have toys dangle over them, or just let them rest on the padded surface.  I'm realizing pretty quickly, that Emma Grace may have needed more boundaries because it sorta could pass as a dog bed...but we were so hopelessly infertile when we adopted Emma.  Pico got his/her first stuffed animal, and Emma is pretty sure it's hers.  I mean, she's the only one with stuffed animals in the house, so why wouldn't it be?  She enjoys smelling all the new things, and sticks her nose on my belly a lot, but that doesn't mean she doesn't think all of this stuff is for her.  We watched Lucifer jump in the crib and start playing with the that may not last very long, but if you've grown up sharing a house with cats and dogs, you learn pretty quickly that nice things are just not in your cards.  I mean, I played with headless chewed up Barbie's, and I survived to be reasonably well-rounded...

As we round the corner to the third trimester, I realized this baby is going to come out of my body someway, somehow.  I've read a couple of books on breastfeeding and birthing, but we haven't signed up for childbirth classes because of our crazy schedules. And the more I read, the more I'm like, I can't just go in and let things happen to me.  So I've talked to a couple of doulas, and I'm pretty intent on hiring one.  BJ's birth plan is for the baby to be on the outside one day ideally not requiring him to look, see, hear, or touch anything that might be seen on a National Geographic documentary or a 90s health class video.  My mom and I mutually agree that she will not be in the birth room, so that leaves me...and I decided I need a support person, hence the doula.  

I'm still not sure I want to write anything down as far as a birth plan.  I have the nurse-curse to consider, lol.  (Where if anything can go wrong, it especially will, because you are in the medical profession and statistics don't apply to you.) So I'm afraid if I write something down, it will be signing my fate to a stat cesarean delivery.  Honestly, if that's what it takes to get Pico here safely, then I'm all for it. I just know from my profession, that it's a damned if you do thing with birth plans, but also can be damned if you don't.

We still have so much to look forward to between now and February.  I see Dr. Bullen this week for my 28 week appointment.  We have the holidays to look forward, too. I'm still enjoying my life as a night shift nurse so much more than I did on day shift.  I've got to finish up my first quarter of graduate school take #4. BJ is having minor surgery on his nose and throat because he loves me and doesn't want to be the reason I end up on the TV show, Snapped! for murdering him for snoring. Oh, and one last Christmas where Santa will come for ME!

So anywhoselbees, at 27.4 weeks I am...

...never weighing myself again, because ignorance is bliss...and I'm chicken shit.
...craving...ok, I still would like to have French Onion Soup from Panera.  It has faded and come back, but definitely would like to have some.  I make a date to go there, and we miss it because we are running late.  I attempt to go again this evening, and apparently, Sunday is the one day of the week they don't have French Onion, I just need to not want things ever again...
...averse to Panera Bread and your hostile soup schedule...honestly, I feel like Adele in her new've so let me down...We used to have a working relationship, and now I'm all like "Hello?!"
...Feeling achy, stretchy, crampy, and blessed to have such an awesome reason to feel that way.  Pico, I'll ache, cramp and swell for you, any time.  You just keep dancing, baby!!!

Peace, Love, and Prayers for the Panera French Onion Soup Nazis,
Mary Katherine

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