So Pico started kicking and moving like a crazy baby when BJ started talking to zym this week. I cried. It's seriously the most beautiful thing. As much as I can't wait (but I will, Pico, so don't get too excited) to hold this baby in my arms, I can't wait to see BJ holding our baby.
Men don't get a lot of credit for dealing with infertility. They soldier on, pretend for your sake that another failed cycle is no big deal, and are expected to remain stoic. We get frustrated because of their "lack of caring", but I promise, it's just the opposite. BJ's had some true moments of heartbreak and sacrifices enough of himself to only have those moments when he knew I was doing okay. BJ has been just as devastated as I have been, but for the sake of us, he's had to put his brave face on much faster because I couldn't.
So when little Pico gets placed in BJ's arms...that will be such a beautiful moment. I expect there to be Real Man tears. I know I'm going to be a hot mess, but I bet BJ will be, too. Hopefully they don't call DCS because the child has 2 loons for parents. I expect that if I don't breastfeed, I may not get to hold our baby again! He's going to be such an awesome father. This child is so very blessed.
This week has been a lot of work, sleep, write, repeat, but hopefully things will calm down for a bit. Our dresser for our nursery came, and I put the first couple of outfits in it. I even bought Dreft, but I don't quite have enough to start a load yet. It's sad when you are excited about laundry, but I'm pretty damn excited. We still have quite a bit to do... Chair rail, outlet covers, couple more pieces of furniture...but it's coming together, and it's for OUR BABY!!!
I think I can feel individual parts of Pico move now, like I can feel each foot kick me. I LOVE IT! When I'm trying to settle in for a nap and Pico gets all excited, I can't help but just smile like a goober. My cat, Gaius, bee-lines for my belly, and Pico loves to try to kick him off. The first time, Gaius hissed at me, but now he seems to be in a battle of will. Gaius, you better remember this the first time your tail gets yanked! But all this moving has definitely ended my obession with needing to hear heart tones...Not that I don't still listen, but it's more out of fun than anything.
Despite working more, I've felt a little better...no clue...maybe I really was trying to fight off a cold. I also started sleeping a little better after working all night. Hours will have passed instead of 45 minutes, so that's probably been the best thing.
Middle of next week will be the start of the third trimester for Pico and me!!! THIS IS JUST CRAZY! How did this happen??? We need to get on the childbirth class thing... All I learned from Ina May Gaskin's book was that, indeed, no woman has ever been split in half while giving birth...so that's good to know...other than that, I know it's probably not going to feel the best.
I know I'm not going to write down a birth plan...that's just asking for everything to go wrong. The plan is to have a breathing mother with a breathing baby in her arms. The rest is kinda open to discussion, and I have time to think about it...
So at 26 plus weeks, I'm...
...not weighing myself this week...ignorance is bliss.
...craving nothing in particular...
...averse to a lot of food on my plate at once... I'm dreading Thanksgiving...
...feeling fabulous. Enjoying the dance recitals going on in my belly!
...in love with oversized, loose cotton PJs...they are my jam.
Peace, Love, and Happy Daddies,