I'm sure all the feminists out there will roll their eyes, but I had that moment looking in the mirror as I brushed my teeth a couple of days ago and realized...I'm Matt's mom. I'm someone's mother. I'm not just Mary Katherine, I'm not just BJ's other half, I'm not just Mickey and Melissa's daughter...I'm Matt's mom, and I LOVE it. I cherish that title...I don't care if that's all Matt's friends ever call me...I'll be "Matt's Mom" forever.
Now if only I could figure out what being Matt's Mom requires of me. I don't know if this is true for every infertile, but for me at least...I dreamed of being pregnant and prayed about getting him here safely. I studied, read and researched pregnancy, but you don't go much further than that, because...well, you just never know. So while I've had dreams and little snap-shots of what parenting a toddler, an older child, and even a teenager might be like...I never really thought about how I would parent an infant or what my parenting style would be.
Three weeks in and I still have no clue. Poor Matt, he's got the make-it-up as we go parenting style. We aren't quite doing the attachment parenting thing. I'm too scared to wear him in a carrier 24/7 that I'll drop something on him, or he'll get hurt in some other way. Then again, I'm too scared to let him sleep very far away from me either...So IDK what does that make me? Attached at a distance parenting?
Whatever we are doing, I feel like he is thriving. He's so heavy compared to where he started. He's outgrowing clothes. We don't even overlap the velcro on his diapers anymore. So in that regard I feel like I must be doing something right. Not that there is any useful information that I can find on breastfeeding between week 2 of your baby's life and 6 months when you start introducing food. What's up with that?
So even though I am completely clueless, I am so in love. Matt's having those moments where he gets a little fussy with Grammy or even BJ, but he snugs into my neck, quiets down, and everything in the world is just perfect. I never let myself imagine how perfect and wonderful it could be.
Peace, Love, and Making It Up as We Go,
Mary Katherine & Matt
Now if only I could figure out what being Matt's Mom requires of me. I don't know if this is true for every infertile, but for me at least...I dreamed of being pregnant and prayed about getting him here safely. I studied, read and researched pregnancy, but you don't go much further than that, because...well, you just never know. So while I've had dreams and little snap-shots of what parenting a toddler, an older child, and even a teenager might be like...I never really thought about how I would parent an infant or what my parenting style would be.
Three weeks in and I still have no clue. Poor Matt, he's got the make-it-up as we go parenting style. We aren't quite doing the attachment parenting thing. I'm too scared to wear him in a carrier 24/7 that I'll drop something on him, or he'll get hurt in some other way. Then again, I'm too scared to let him sleep very far away from me either...So IDK what does that make me? Attached at a distance parenting?
Whatever we are doing, I feel like he is thriving. He's so heavy compared to where he started. He's outgrowing clothes. We don't even overlap the velcro on his diapers anymore. So in that regard I feel like I must be doing something right. Not that there is any useful information that I can find on breastfeeding between week 2 of your baby's life and 6 months when you start introducing food. What's up with that?
So even though I am completely clueless, I am so in love. Matt's having those moments where he gets a little fussy with Grammy or even BJ, but he snugs into my neck, quiets down, and everything in the world is just perfect. I never let myself imagine how perfect and wonderful it could be.
Peace, Love, and Making It Up as We Go,
Mary Katherine & Matt
I'll let you in on a secret: 'making it up as we go' is what 99% of parents do, I think! You are doing a wonderful job already!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteLove it, keep on doing your job!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'll keep making it up!
DeleteNone of us know what we're doing in the first few years. But for breastfeeding resources, KellyMom is a good website.
ReplyDelete