Sunday, October 9, 2011

Ask and you shall receive...

at least some things.

Yeah, so my period finally started last Thursday so I made the call to my IVF Nurse Coordinator, Jan, took 800mg of ibuprofen and went about my day with increasing doses of ibuprofen every four hours.  The next day I received 3 phone calls back to back from Jan.

My period came too late, and as we hypothesized, I ovulate too late to wait to start my Lupron.  After a few phone calls to Dr. Donesky, his partner, and Jan, they agreed that I'll start on birth control pills.  This is a good thing because it may very well save me from the cyst draining procedure that does not require anesthesia.  Wednesday, as in 3 days from now, I'll start Lupron shots.  As the name long Lupron protocol suggests, I'll be on shots for a long time through November.  

I'm not gonna lie, I am not excited about this like I was the first time.  I'm more resigned to it. I hate that I can't make myself "think positively", and it does make me feel guilty.  It's just really hard this time to get pumped up for it.  I'm afraid I don't have anything to look forward to in the short-term.  The long-term...well I'm just up for a pleasant surprise.  It's the natural pessimist in me...prepare for the worst and be elated that you don't need anything you've prepared for.  

It's not like I think there is no chance, it's just that I don't really know what my chances are.  I know Dr. Donesky thinks it's totally a possibility.  He doesn't want his success statistics to go down any more than I want to have another failure.  So no, I don't think he's taking advantage or stringing me along as some have questioned. He's second only to BJ in men trying to get me knocked up. (If there's anybody else in that line, I'd prefer to not know about it.  Thanks! :))  There is just a ton of unknown, and if you know me at all, you know the unknown is not a place I like to spend a lot of time.  

So instead, here's what I do know.  BJ and I've really jacked up our supplement intake this past month and are continuing to do so throughout this whole process.  In addition to a new protocol, I have the whole bromocriptine-rebound thing I'm still doing which research shows has promising results.  I wouldn't be doing this again if it wasn't worth it.  I know what to expect, and all-in-all, medically speaking, nothing is too bad.  I have BJ, and he's still pretty damn amazing.

M:  Whatcha thinking now?
B:  I'm still nervous, why?  Are you interviewing me?

M: Mmm-hmm.  Do you wanna try again?
B: Mmm-hmm.

M:  What's our theme this time?
B:  "The Good Life"?

M: I think it's perfect.  I myself am trying to listen to "Jesus Take the Wheel"
B: Why?

M:  Simply for the line, "I'ma let it go."
B:  Ah...

M:  Tell me about the book you've been reading.
B: Clash of the Kings?  Or are you talking about Plastic Cup?

M: Hmm..Well let's use deductive reasoning skills...I'm pretty sure people aren't checking my blog to hear...
B:...hear about George R.R. Martin's very epic Clash of the Kings.  Well it's more interesting than my sperm count.

M:  You wanna start a blog about it and compare readership?
B:...You're pretty mean.

M:  It made me laugh.
B: Mmm-hmm

M:  So, about the much more boring book...Did you like the title?
B: How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup...mmm-hmm.  I've not read a lot, but it is helpful.

M:  Well, I thought it was funny...I love you a lot.
B:  I love you.

M:  I do think this time will be easier.
B: We'll I'm sure you're an old-hand at injecting yourself with God knows what, and I'm an old-hand at cowering in the corner while you do it.  

M:  I'll let you try this time.
B:  I tried. I didn't do well.

M:  That was years ago.
B:  Well nothing has changed on how scared of needles I am.

M: We could make an acupuncture appointment for you?
B: No!

Poor thing...the human race would have gone extinct long ago if men were left to themselves...

Peace, Love, and HERE WE GO!

"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing."
~David Viscott

1 comment:

  1. Thinking about you guys daily. I'm excited for the upcoming months, despite the fact that it involves tons of picking and prodding! All our best, The S's.