Thursday, August 21, 2014

Biopsy, surgery, Go time!

So after a discussion with Dr. D, we decided that even if I couldn't do the transfer this month, I would just be out a little endometrial tissue.  So we did it.  Only took 4 tries this time to thread the catheter. OUCH!

I had also scheduled surgery for Wednesday...hoping for a meniscus repair, but  My meniscus was shredded. So, Dr. H had to cut it out.  I was super-bummed because I thought I would be out too much to do my transfer, because the turn-around is pretty quick, but not quick enough for me to not drain the remaining time off I had.

I know it seems silly, but when you've been trying 4.5 years to get pregnant and you get this close only to have a stupid knee injury potentially derail your chance at parenthood, it's hard.  I mean how long do we have to wait?  I guess you can't really know until you've been there, but it's like having the rug pulled out from under you, again, and for something stupid.

I love my husband, I really do, but my heart beats for this family we are supposed to be. I've given up a lot and had to adapt this dream to my reality.  It's quite possible that this will not work, and I will have to adapt more, but for now the thought of carrying a pregnancy gives me a reason to get out of bed and go to work.  Much like your dream car, dream house, dream partner, my family dream, which my husband is a very significant part of, keeps me going when everything else is crumbling around me. For someone with infertility, waking up every morning to an emptiness you, alone, are incapable of filling is a grueling task.

So on day 2 post-op, I'm going to go to work tomorrow after rehab and salvage as many hours for this week as I can.  I still have a couple weeks I can work the desk, which should be perfect for my recovery, and still have days off if I need them to do my transfer.  I'm super lucky to have a manager that has let me do this.  

As general anesthesia tends to do, my period started. It's not enough to just have surgical pain, I have to have full-on endometriosis cramps which some-how seem to be able to trump muscle relaxers, narcotics, and phenergan coma.  I swear, my next surgery will be a hysterectomy!

On the upside, I'll possibly be starting my estrogen patches as early as Saturday!  Crazy!  This is happening.  I could actually be moving forward. Of course we have to make sure my ovaries are behaving and aren't going to throw anything off. So tomorrow I have my baseline ultrasound and lab work.

The nice thing about frozen embryo transfers, is there is quite a bit more wiggle room.  The babies are fine.  They are just chillin' out, so we have time to adjust.  Dr. D can drain my cysts if that becomes an issue, we can prime more or less with the estrogen, and because my ovaries are feral, I would predict more.

I just can't believe we've made it this far, in spite of my knee hiccup.  Oh, my knee hiccup was pretty nasty as I'm missing quite a bit of my meniscus now...supposedly no running/squatting/high impact activity...looks like I need a gym with an indoor pool and water aerobics.  That is, honestly, quite a blow for me.  The alternative is wearing the rest of my meniscus out and being the first of my peers to have a knee replacement...honestly, I'm not old enough for water aerobics!

Peace, Love, and Phenergan is my friend,

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