Oh yes...all of the above. I'm at that breaking point where I would cry if it would help, but it just hurts my throat and ears worse. I can't sit still without having menstrual cramps, and I can't move because of my knee. But who really cares because this is temporary and tomorrow I start estrogen priming!
I had my baseline today. My uterus looked fine, but my ovaries were all follicular-like with about 10 follicles on each... They are supposed to be quiet. They may stay where they are, or I may need to get any cysts that form drained, but for now they are acceptable. They will have nothing to do with this pregnancy, if I achieve it...that is kind of weird. I will depend on estrogen patches and oral and injectable progesterone until *gulp* the placenta takes over and my obstetrician decides I do not need them anymore.
I started on my baby aspirin yesterday because of my knee surgery, but tomorrow I'll add Minivelle estrogen patches, and a z-pack to my repertoire. The priming stage should last about 2 weeks, and I will titrate to 4 patches over the next 2 weeks. It's been a long time since I've had that much estrogen, so I'm not really sure what to expect.
The last 5.5 days of my estrogen priming will include 2 IM shots of progesterone a day. Luckily for me, I know a lot of nurses that are really good at giving shots. And I'm sure some of them will jump at the task of shooting me in the ass. :)
I'm scared and stoked at the same time. I have moments where I feel like this is hopeless, and I might as well be known as the Knoxville Embryo Killer, but then I also have moments where I feel like this is actually it, and we might become parents after all! I've felt like this before...I was so excited for our first IVF cycle because I thought fertilization was our major hurdle. It was a soul-crushing experience to go through the failure of that not once, but twice.
I told my mom I was scared of killing this baby, and she reminded me that I was giving this baby a chance. That's all this is...a chance.
Peace, Love, and It's Time...