Friday, May 29, 2015

Second Beta

So you want to see your numbers double every 48 hours. For me, today we were looking for a 622.  That would indicate a healthy strong implantation and a continuing pregnancy.

My beta was 832.

More than doubled.  In fact instead of doubling in 48, it doubled in 33.  So that could mean we have a very, very strong singleton, OR we're also in the running for carrying 2 strong babies.

I'm still in suspended disbelief.  Well, mind and heart boobs have been telling a different story.

I'm 2 cup sizes bigger than I've ever been in my life...BJ's loving it.  I can only stand to wear sports bras cuz the girls act like someone is pouring acid inside them when I'm not wearing one and showers feel like someone is throwing darts at by boobs...Thank you estrogen injections, to be honest this has been going on since I used them in Feb/March for my diagnostic cycle....but seriously...I thought about purchasing this...

I've had some off and on cramping, but nothing like my periods.  It's one of those things.  I'm scared when I have them, but I'm also scared when I don't feel anything for a while, too.  I'm still dizzy, that's not gone away.  I can be lying down and feel like I'm in a hammock swinging back and forth. I can even feel my body tense as my weight "phantom shifts".  It's not making me miserable though, it's just always there.  I feel good in the middle of the night because I've woken up at 3:00 am like clock work the past few nights, and I'm not dizzy.  But I can handle dizziness if I have a breathing healthy child in 35 more weeks.

So the next thing is making it almost a week without having my blood drawn.  I'll have to work out something with work, hopefully that won't be difficult.  We won't know if there is more than one until I'm 6 weeks along, so that's forever away, and I have to stay pregnant that long which is this omnipresent fear.  The ball always drops.  So I feel like I'm waiting...but all physiological signs point to this being great so far...Did you get that, brain???

I'm emotionally exhausted.  This has been super hard getting here, and once again, less than 3 hours ago I was fretting that there was bad news, and that my beta level was dropping.  I'm not sure when I'll feel "pregnant" as opposed to, "well, I was pregnant yesterday when my beta was drawn."

Alas, I am still an infertile...just a pregnant (at the moment) infertile...

Peace, Love, And Growing Babies!
Mary Katherine

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