Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday Funday

One of the reasons I like my fertility clinic as much as I do is because they never let a little thing like a weekend prevent you from trying to have a baby.  That being said...

I have 2 quiet ovaries and my lining is up to 11.27 mm.  Ten is the goal, so YAY!!!!

(Not Dr. Donesky, I'm afraid...)

Now I have to prove I can hold onto it for a few days.  So they gave me another dose of Delestrogen in the arse.  It was only half the dose I had on Wednesday and I'll continue on just my estrogen patches and baby aspirin until Thursday...Thursday will hopefully be the day that I FINALLY get going with progesterone, too. Progesterone is what makes the lining stick, where estrogen builds it.

If all should go well, I'll be ready for a transfer the week after this one.  Then the terrible part.  In fact I got pretty sad thinking about it.  I mean this part...we had options, time, and different methods for controlling the ongoings of my uterus...but no amount of drugs can force an embryo to implant.  It's just the sad reality.

I keep reminding myself I've never done it with healthy embryos...I'm so tired of losing at this game. I'm so tired of being infertile.  I just want to make it past the first beta HCG test to the 2nd one and "pass" that one as well. I want to see and hear a heartbeat.  I want to watch my tummy grow for a good reason. I want to feel a baby kick. I want to have to worry about stretch marks. I want to read, sing, and play music for the baby in my belly. I want morning sickness so bad, you could not understand. I want my husband to see me pregnant with his child. I want to be too uncomfortable to sleep. I want my husband to fall in love with this child before it's born.  I want him to fall in love with me again.  I just want to move on with my life...instead of feeling like I'm stuck in my mid-20s.

The only thing we know for sure, is that I definitely cannot have a baby, if I don't keep pressing on...

Peace, Love, and Pressing On,

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