I'm 37 weeks!!! There is a baby on the way...our long sought after, hard-fought, absolute miracle and dream-come-true is much closer to making an appearance than it ever was before!!!. I'm so ecstatic. I can barely believe it.
So today we had our 37 week appointment which included a "growth ultrasound", and true to form, Pico would not cooperate...not totally zyr's fault. Pico's head is too low to get a measurement. Our sonographer tried and tried and finally told us that she needed Dr. Bullen to confirm something. I was too shell-shocked about the head being as low as I thought it was to really be concerned about that. So Dr. Bullen came in and informed me that the baby was "engaged" (which I had been suspicious of for a couple of days) and I had no cervix. BJ's face was awesome when he said that! So baby is just literally hanging out at 0 station (that's low in my experience). I was totally expecting to hear the L&D triage favorite fintertip/thick/high...which means basically no dilation, no effacement, and your baby is still in your abdomen. The whole time my sonographer, kept saying, "Oh, honey, you must be miserable. Are you miserable?" And I'm like 'why would I be miserable?! I'm pregnant!!!'
Hmm...To be honest, I have contracted pretty frequently at work, and thought these are kinda moving from intense to bordering on painful... I had been thinking if these are just Braxton-Hicks...I must be a pansy. So I'm slightly relieved that I'm making progress. Of course it could still be February 3rd...or later, but for the first time, I'm facing the possibility that it could be earlier, too. I've been in this 42 week mindset because my mother went so late with both my brother and me so this is a bit mind blowing to me. I need to be ready-ish, now...YIKES!!
Oh, Pico, I love you so much. I love feeling your squirmy little legs kick and swim. I love rubbing your tiny little back through my belly. And I think I've done a pretty good job keeping you safe and happy in utero, so I'm a little nervous about taking care of you on the outside. I promise I'll try my best!
I am super excited about Daddy getting to hold you, and your grandparents who've waited SOOO long for you, too! You have so many people that are so excited to see your mysterious little face! It makes me tear up to think about all of that!
I don't feel nervous about the delivery...they happen all the time, so I'm not so worried about that. I've got a great OB and a doula that's on her game, so I'm just going to let them do their jobs...that's easy. I'm more nervous that I just don't know when it is going to happen. Like I said, neither BJ or I feel like we are totally ready. I've got stuff to hang in the nursery, fridges and freezers to clean out, bags to pack and repack, thank you notes to write, shifts to work, graduate school assignments, etc!
So anywhoslebees, at 37 weeks, I am...
...holding steady weight wise.
...averse to heartburn...
...craving Maalox and skim milk...
...feeling a lot of pressure, but I'm still waiting for that "lightening" experience where I can breathe and eat comfortably...this may be a short girl problem...
...in love with this whole experience. I feel so blessed, it's hard to complain. I feel fortunate to get to experience these discomforts that I fought for years to feel. Yes, there is a bowling ball between my legs, but that bowling ball is my beautiful baby's head!
Peace, Love, and Embracing the Unpredictable,