Friday, January 22, 2016

6 Days?

I'm still getting pings about what my baby is doing in utero, and yet I'm typing this with one hand as Matt is sleeping on my chest...My little peanut-man is just so precious, and he seems to be doing so well...

I mean everything I thought I'd feel, do and think...well it all went out the window.  Everything is just so...I don't even know how to describe it...surreal, yet amazing, yet very, very real.

Let me tell you about little James Matthew.  He is so patient, and tries so hard, and takes all of Mama's (wait, that's ME!!!) breastfeeding conundrums with the greatest of ease.  He was so little, he basically pooped his meconium out and was close to a 10% weight loss.  He also had a complete tongue-tie, he couldn't get his tongue past his lower gum, so latches looked great, but didn't feel to great to me. So the second day in the hospital we had to start supplementing using a supplemental nursing system.  I was glad we didn't have to give him a bottle, but after 24 hours of trying to snake a tube into the corner of your child's sore mouth (pediatrician clipped his frenulum) over a sore nipple, we were both kinda hurting. I was really hoping at our first pediatric appointment we would be told we could stop supplementing, but no.

Did you know my best friend for life is a pediatrician?  That makes things pretty convenient...It's seriously a good thing doctors don't have billable hours, or I'd be screwed!

Anyway, we (as my favorite pediatrician and I) decided to quit using the supplement unless I could not pump enough colostrum to supplement with. We went back yesterday and Matt's weight went from 5 lbs 14.5 oz, to 6 lbs 3.5 oz. and my milk had not even come in.  He was such a trooper. Yesterday I noticed I was feeding him in solid chunks of my nipple, so my wonderful mother ran out to Wal-Mart late last night in the midst of the Snowmageddon preppers and bought a nipple shield for me.  HOLY CRAP!!! GAME CHANGER!!!

Matt latches least 2 RN's and 2 lactations consultants have told me so...Which makes me the biggest liar when I'm working with postpartum mothers ever.  Why do they teach us to tell new mom's it shouldn't hurt?  It's like we mean it in the same way we take an 18 gauge needle to their arm and tell them they "might feel a pinch."  REALLY??? I am so chewed up from 48 hours with a tongue-tie that I don't know what his "great" latch should feel like. Gah!

So anyway, I think we are finally getting a handle on all of this.  It's not textbook, but then again, nothing has been textbook.  As much as I loved Jack Newman's book...he's a man.  This is what is screwed up in our country...a MAN is the breastfeeding guru in the United States.  OK, enough political chat...

We are just so stinking happy.  So fulfilled with wonderment, love, elation, and unadulterated joy.  I just feel so blessed to change MY baby's diaper, feed MY baby...even if it's teaching him cannibalism...hold MY baby.  I feel guilty for napping or trying to do anything else.  I'm just drawn to him.  Poor kid, doesn't know any different, and Mama's trying to work out 5.5 years of angst and pain on him!!!

And still just so blown away that he's here already.  He's here!!! In my arms, not in my belly.  It's crazy!

Peace, Love, and Trying To Soak It All In!

Mary Katherine & Matt

1 comment:

  1. Enjoy all the feels MK! He is perfect and as scary as it is, trust your instincts. Xo